Gathering the pieces & learning the lessons on my life journey

Super excited!! I’ve accepted the 30303 It’s All About Me Challenge!!!!!!! I’m ecstatic to see the fruit that this will produce for my life, 30 days of being committed to myself and consistent. I deserve it!!! Putting my health (physical, mental, spiritual, financial, and emotional health)…. as my priority!

#Geeked #SuperExcited #Grateful #ThisIsAnInsideJob

Sure you’re wondering…. so here’s what the 30303 is… and the rules 😉

30303 Lifestyle challenge:⁣⁣
Prize: $30,000.00⁣⁣⁣
Kickoff July 13-⁣ August 13,2020⁣⁣
*Must be 3 per group for ⁣⁣⁣
*must be on 3 products ( Nutraburst , nrg , tea of choice CBD tea, raspberry, original⁣⁣⁣
* must engage daily on IG and use #30303 and tag @1000families⁣ in daily post this ⁣⁣
*must take picture holding sign and date it with your accountability partners together or separately ⁣⁣⁣
*must be on 120 smartship ⁣⁣⁣

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May the Force be with You!!!!

A few days ago, I was eating lunch near a window to enjoy the sun because it was too cold to actually sit outside. Shortly after sitting I noticed a bird that was clearly looking for something to eat, seconds later I notice another bird, then another. While I observed in those moments, a passage that I’d heard many times before as a little girl came to me. Though I couldn’t remember the passage word for word but I knew the jest of it had something to do with why worry about anything, birds don’t worry, they just find what they need and are on their way”. Close enough!! 😉

The passage I was thinking about was a scripture from the Christian Bible & my mother would be so proud of me….

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear… 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?……33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.

If the birds don’t worry, because God takes care of them, why would I worry when I KNOW God takes care of me?! Such a fair question & it makes no sense that I worry anyhow (complete insanity) aaaannnndddd clearly an option that I’m choosing. Whatever happens, worrying does not stop or even delay it! To the contrary worrying just makes the process last Much longer and more times than not (as we All know) it never looks as terrible as it looked in our mind, as we spent Hours, days and months lost in the abyss of worry.

This is a conversation I am having with myself but decided to type it out so now having it with you 😉 Time after time after time things work themselves out even Better than what I expected. So I have to ask myself Why Worry? No, seriously! WHY?!

Worry can drive you crazy, is bad for your health and serves no purpose. Two of my favorite quotes contradict the very validity of worrying.

One “And we know that All things work together for good….” (Romans 8:28)

Two “Everything that has happen, had to happen and could not have happen Any other way” (Morpheus The Matrix Reloaded)

Worry is an option…. Choose not to…. Fafimihan

I do understand the logic of “don’t have expectations” to avoid entering any situation with pre conceived outcomes in mind. However in some aspects of life, expectations are just fine and probably best, because expectations are usually met! People with life experience always say “be very specific when you ask”. So though I’m not technically supposed to have expectations I’m walking around here expecting the Absolute Best of the Best of the Best of Everything from each and Every direction!! 😉

My seven year daughter has just recently (once again) taught me about Faith and expectations. For the last three years she has said over and over that she was “going to Brazil on her birthday”. As her mother, and the one fitting the bill for this trip I thought “how am I Ever going to get myself and two children to Brazil”. I went four years ago so I kept thinking about that ticket price times three, however I kept all of this to myself, not once sharing my anxiety with her. In her magical way she went on without a care in the world, repeating several times a year to whoever would listen, whenever she felt it “I’m going to Brazil on my birthday” Here we are THREE DAYS away from leaving to visit friends in Salvador, Bahia Brazil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Though I am swimming in gratitude I think I’m still not able to completely wrap my head around the fact that I will in FACT be able to take myself and my children to Brazil. It reminds me that our only job is to Trust. Not to worry about the details of how and/or why. Whatever needs to take place will take place just as it needs to. It reminds me that your words do not come back to you void and have a power all of their own. Recently I read a quote from the actor Michael Williams “I say word is born because what I speak, I manifest #LawOfAttraction”. Children have such a beautiful way of being present, finding joy and being able to dream without limitations. It is true that they are teaching us as we are teaching them!

Life is a series of little deaths, out of which life always returns. –Charles Feidelson Jr.

Life is full of transitions and apparently they say that transitions are deaths in themselves; that after this transition has been made that one moves into an entirely different life. Well let’s see… I just experienced a pretty large transition recently and after it my shell is still the same, with the exception of a pretty attractive hair cut 😉 However on the Inside there is All kind of action, awakening and “life after death” beauty!!

The most interesting thing is that the same things that have been there for Such a long time, I see in an entirely different way! For example my son is very affectionate, I’m just being aware of just how affectionate he is. First thing in the morning he’s reaching out for a hug, when he walks past me in the kitchen, he’s reaching out for a hug, while he’s watching tv he’s reaching out for a hug. How could I have missed such an enormous part of him, an enormous part of our interactions (relationship)? Can’t spend too much time dwelling on that because regret leads to a bottomless pit of sorrow!! I am simply excited (grateful) for the Awareness!!! To be Aware of something makes alllllllllllllllllllllllllll the difference.

The other day during lunch, I was walking to my spot where I plant myself perfectly under two trees and enjoy their shade. I happened to glance down at the very moment that I was about to step on a bee, I quickly apologized and moved my foot. The bee was a little frantic, of course after almost being squished to death, and made a “bee line” to another flower. I point this out because I am so grateful to have this greater sense of awareness, that I would be “present” enough to notice a small bee that I was sharing space with. Seeing is not believing but Awareness is. Seeing is not living but Awareness is!!

I’ve tried to write about the experience but I know that words will not do it Any justice. Not to mention I would have a hard time putting it into words….. Rather than speak (write) on the actual experience I’ll simply give a go at putting my feelings about the experience into words…..

Here we go….

I am Immensely Grateful because I am Always just where I need to be (if Only I can remember that), because the door was open for me to walk through, because I was physically able to take the long journey, because the resources were available for me to make the journey, because I was (am) surrounded by people who genuinely take care of me, because I learned (am learning) sooooooooo much, because I am walking the path of my destiny, because at one point I was resisting this path (which somehow makes it even sweeter), because I was reminded of the Power of non-verbal communication, because God does things in a way that only God can get the credit for said thing ;), because it turn out even Better than I expected, because I’m so happy, because I’m so excited, because I’m able to see things clearly (including things that were always there), because it helped me release that old feeling of “little ole me”, because what God has for me is for me, because I no longer feel the need to dim my inner light, because, because, because because becaaaaauuuuuuse I am Immensely Grateful

–Did you notice that I was channeling the Wizard of Oz at the end?!

….that was much easier…. Cause honey; that experience was Out of This world, unbelievable, and weeks later I’m still processing, digesting, and letting it marinate!

“No such thing as a life that’s better than yours” –J. Cole

Ummmmmm I know that your intentions are good but Please don’t say Happy Father’s day to me….. I’m a MOM!

Yes I work very hard to guide, provide and nurture my children. Yes I have sooooo much fun just watching them. They are fearless and only desire to be themselves, I learn from them!!

But NO I am not doing my job and their father’s job. I am doing my job with Overtime 😉 For I couldn’t tell you the first thing about being a father since I’m a woman.

I’m doing overtime Not because I want to, Not because my children want me to but because my partner in helping to create these people BAILED.

You know how you’re working a job but you’re doing Way more than what is required and not getting paid for it?….. YEAH!!

You know how you’re working on a group project and everyone is assigned a role then that one person quits leaving the others to scramble and pick up their incomplete work but you can almost Guarantee they’ll show up when grades are given out?…… YEAH!!


I know you mean Well, but it’s annoying!

Besides I know “single dads” who have NEVER been told Happy Mother’s day because they are Fathers!

So Please don’t say Happy Father’s day to me!!…… I’m a Mother!! 😉


“the Government or the Great American pimp?!” This question of contrast came up in the shower the other day dreading to call the “student loan people” (in my case Great Lakes….) I wasn’t looking forward to the call mainly because “I didn’t have shit to tell them” hahahaha no seriously! This thought made me drift into thinking about and questioning the whole concept of student loans. “Why am I paying this b.s, I followed the script” The script being I went to college, got a ‘great education’, hell I went to graduate school too. I followed the program!! ;). and what do I have to show for it…. Loans hahahaha (of course that’s not all, I have good friends too, but that’s it & we’re talking about loans here LoL). I have to laugh because the shit is so ridiculous…. “The Government or the Great American Pimp?!?!”

I recognize there are a number of people who don’t necessarily work in the field that they went to school for. I’m not the Only person that is not working in the field for that History degree 😉 but you mean to tell me, I’m not in the field I desire after going to school, following the program, then my pimp (the Government) is harassing me to pay loans back for this “education” that it has been encouraging me to get since 9th grade, the monthly payments are crazy AND if I die this debt still lives on hahahahahaha “Great American Pimp or Government?!” Please insert a list of countries that offer paid education and/or it doesn’t cost literally an arm and a leg  years after obtaining it?!

“the Government or the Great American Pimp?!”

Government: Group of people who control and make decisions for a country state or people. A particular system used for controlling a country, state, or people

Pimp: a criminal who is associated with, usually exerts control over, and lives off the earnings of one or more prostitute (student -hahahhaaha waaaaaaa laughing and crying at the same time!!)


“Thank you!!! Esu Ma Se Mi!!!!!!!! I know you love me dearly…. Really it won’t be you undoing me, it will totally be me undoing me!!!! Get out of your mind & just have a good time!! Life is about your experience Not Anyone else’s”

I wrote this passage about two weeks ago and I adore how I quote myself throughout this piece ;).

I’m not sure what was happening at the time but the other morning the same passage called me back towards it! When I read it again I could quickly see why it called me, because the line that stood out was “… will Totally be me undoing me!!”. The word sabotage means: the act of destroying or damaging something deliberately so that it does not work correctly. That definition is SO powerful, even after reading it I could tell that it commanded a certain level of energy! DELIBERATELY, like ON PURPOSE, INTENTIONALLY, “So that it DOES NOT WORK CORRECTLY”  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa life is so wonderful. I am grateful for guidance Mojuba Mother/Father God!!! Mojuba Esu!!! Sometimes we do things without being fully Aware of what we are doing. Be Aware of You. I had to fully sit with what that meant and why the word sabotage showed up early in the morning. I had to fully sit with why? when? what? on repeat, sometimes with various answers. By the end of the night I was in tears!

But joy comes in the morning 😉 There wasn’t anything in particular just the magic of the day that can be found in every day! I did feel more open, willing to learning and surrendering, not by anything I said but through what I had done and not said! One of the things I learned is the confirmation of the scripture “so is my word.. it will not come back to me void…”. Two; Self Sabotaging, Shortchanging yourself, and Settling are all connected all connected to Self Worth. Three; I have to stand firm. I have to stand firm in decisions, hell make one & go.

Just Observing, I see/have been shown/am able to receive this now to continue to grow! Immensely Grateful!!! Learning to love all of me means Loving to learn all about me 😉


When speaking on the topic of circumcision it almost always comes back around to the subject of religion.  Circumcision had to do with the Old Testament relationship between God and the “Jews”, it has never been a requirement for “Christians”. 1 Circumcision is most prevalent in the religions of Judaism and Islam as a part of the Abrahamic covenant.

Genesis 17:10-14 “This is My covenant, which you shall keep, between Me and you and your descendants after you: every male among you shall be circumcised.”And you shall be circumcised in the flesh of your foreskin, and it shall be the sign of the covenant between Me and you. “And every male among you who is eight days old shall be circumcised throughout your generations, a servant who is born in the house or who is bought with money from any foreigner, who is not of your descendants” A servant who is born in your house or who is bought with your money shall surely be circumcised; thus shall My covenant be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant. “But an uncircumcised male who is not circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin, that person shall be cut off from his people; he has broken my covenant.” 

Other scriptures that involve circumcision:

Acts 7:8 “And He gave him the covenant of circumcision; and so Abraham became the father of Isaac, and circumcised him on the eighth day; and Isaac became the father of Jacob, and Jacob of the twelve patriarchs.

Leviticus 12:3, Exodus 12:44 “but every man’s slave purchased with money, after you have circumcised him, then he may eat of it.” Indicating keeping up with an outdated tradition can be deadly, unnecessary and disgusting, showing how vital it is to make your own decision.

Jeremiah 9:25-26 Here circumcision seems to be a character trait versus a physical appearance.

Acts 16:3 Here the circumcision marks the tribe (group of people) that you belong to.

Acts 10:45 If this is the covenant with God, do you have to be circumcised to experience/speak to God (the Holy Spirit).

Titus 1:10 Again a connection to circumcision and character.


Though I grew up with the bible being a huge part of my life, most of this scriptures remind me of how we do things in a traditional sense or because of tradition and have no idea why all the while we continue to do it though it has no validity!!

The topic of circumcision for me is new; I actually didn’t know it was as controversial as it is. When I gave birth to my son (who is now six years old :0) there was no question as to whether or not we would have him circumcised because that was just “what you do”, it’s what “everybody did” right?!  Overhearing a random conversation among some people that I knew about circumcision got me thinking about it even more! The vanity of the conversation without any solid points outside of the appearance of a non circumcised penis annoyed me a little and being the librarian and historian that I am, prompted me to do research. Of course I felt compelled to share with you a fraction of the research that I came across on the subject.

In the United States an estimated 65% of boys born are circumcised on the first or second day after birth.  Canada percentage is much lower at just 20% of boys being circumcised.  Medical groups, including the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Canadian Pediatric Society are officially neutral on the subject of circumcision, advising parents to learn the pros and cons before deciding .1

Purpose(s) of Circumcision: The appearance; Reducing the risk of penile cancer –this cancer affects 1-2 of every 100,000 men and circumcision is not a way to prevent cancer of the penis –.

Disadvantage(s) of Circumcision: As with all surgeries it carries the risk of, hemorrhaging, pain, injury from human error, and infection (infection occurs in about 1 in every 200 circumcisions)

Taking care of/cleaning a circumcised penis:  avoid wet diapers, be careful of any irritation, and observe signs of poor healing. Penis takes seven to ten days to heal.

Taking care of/cleaning an uncircumcised penis: “washing the penis is about as complicated as washing the ears” 2. When cleaning, do not try to pull your son’s foreskin back (retracting the foreskin in a forcible manner, will actually Increase the risk of infection!).  As your child grows and begins getting normal erections (typically by age one) the foreskin gradually completely retracts. The foreskin is usually completely retractable by three to four years old; by this time you can teach your son to care for the penis and foreskin himself.

What I love about this question is that there seems to be no right or wrong rather it’s completely based on preference! It seems like the question of circumcision is completely up to the parents/care takers of the baby boy.

**The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin page 341

**Ask Dr. Sears: The Circumcision Decision ( )